I Fell in Love with a Sweet Sensation: 02/01/2006

The Melting Bear Candle

The melting bear candle

The candle I’m burning is from almost 7 years ago. It’s a bear dressed as a witch that I got in the month of October while working at Claire’s accessories. The bear’s head glows because his witch hat has pretty much melted away and the wick is right behind his eyes. You can see that the color of his face is a light tan as the candlelight flickers from behind his face. As the candle burns longer, the brighter his face gets. I wonder if the candle burns all the way down to his stomach, will his stomach also flicker with candle light behind it? The expression on his face isn’t that of a happy Halloween bear and his eyes look to my left, his right, as if he’s looking away from me, wondering why in the world I lit him on fire. I have the urge to turn him to where his eyes directly face mine, like if I make him look at me he’ll tell me how he really feels. I turn him and now he looks really angry and that makes me feel bad. The light is getting brighter as it burns and I really want to blow it out before I can’t see that expression on his face anymore. After I blow out the candle, the flickering light is gone and makes his eyes stop looking right, my left. He looks almost relieved. Maybe he’ll make it another 7 years.

4 Things In The Room I Write in

We were asked to go into detail about 4 things in our room.

Four Things in my room

Chinese Paper laterns: They are pink and orange and green and pretty. Butterfly prints on the bottom, tassels, painted flower like symbols on the side. They seem like they could be cheap, but they are absolutely sweet. I think they are one of the best additions to my room, one of the best decisions I ever went with. They make my room different from others, they make my room special. They express my Asian side, they symbolize how I want to be delicate, beautiful, special, yet simple and something someone can’t live without.

Tsunami closet: Ah, it’s overwhelming. Things just spilling out, no rhyme or reason. too much work to deal with and the fact that it’ll be the same way in a day or two just makes it unnecessary to deal with. I have too many clothes but at the same time I don’t think I look good in any of it. Most of the clothes are on the floor and my poor closet looks raped. I hope that one day I’ll have a closet that likes to be my closet. I think this one hates me.

Pink Rose: I feel it symbolizes a change. It represents a relationship that is special and different from everyone else’s. This pink rose means a lot to me, more than a dozen red ones. Pink is my favorite color, and this rose is going to stay forever pink. I think it symbolizes a turning point in my relationship with Jared. It shows that we’ve changed, but we’re moving on together. It symbolizes hope for the future and struggles that we’ve overcome.

Diet Soda Cans: Diet soda, my drug. The substitute for “the real thing.” It keeps me in check, at bay, the calories off of me. They still leave a bitter taste in my mouth. The new splenda diet coke has a yellow stipe that makes it say “I am wonderful” and I agree. The Fresca can almost goes with my room, it’s a new design, hip and cool. Some of the cans are empty, some half full. The half full ones are a waste, I almost feel sorry for them for the minute they stopped being ice cold I stopped wanting to drink them. They are like those poor penguins who lose out to the cold.

The Room Where I Write

So I've been taking this online writing class through SMC and it's been lots of fun. The exercise for Lesson 2 was on description and detail and we had to write about the rooms we write in, so here's what i wrote.

The Room Where I write

Yuck, it’s my bedroom. Not the best place to write in, you know, to create AND sleep in. It’s almost a juxtaposition. I have pink everything in this room. It just screams girly, but it’s also really hip too I think. I like to think that I’m the same, girly and hip and sometimes when I show my room to people I hope deep down inside that they think it‘s the most hip room they‘ve ever seen, at least hip done on a budget. I’ve strung up clear Christmas lights from my ceiling and hung up cute Chinese paper laterns along side it. Even though they are laterns they don’t have lights inside them but since they are strung up with the Christmas lights I think it makes up for it. My boyfriend is afraid they’ll catch on fire if my Christmas lights get too hot, but I laugh when he says that because they are lanterns, aren’t they suppose to have a hot light near them? I hope so.

Hanging from my curtain rod is the pink rose Jared gave me for Valentine’s day last week. I realized that I like pink roses much better because when they dry they remain pink unlike red roses that go black when they dry. For red roses to go black it’s like symbolizing love dying, but if they remain pink it’s like they continue on declaring love. My room is a mess and always has been. There’s diet soda cans every where and clothes, clean and not clean on the floor. My closet spills out clothes, almost like a bay trying to hold back a tsunami. I have too many purses. All of them which I like. Purses are like good friends, they go with everything even if you can’t fit into your jeans. I’m very proud of my room. I think it truly explains who I am, someone who has amazing potential but is still a mess.